The Humblebrag: The problem of self-promotion

Humblebrag: The problem of self-promotion

Have you ever been accused of bragging? At one time or another, we’ve all boasted about something we think will impress our friends or families. Most of us learn that touting our achievements is tricky business, lest we be labeled a braggart. It’s much better to be humble, so we are told. Humility is a virtue. Ignore it at your own peril.

Braggadocio begins at an early age. Just as soon as we become aware of the fact that our personal identities influence the way others treat us, the process of self-promotion begins. I remember grade school friends bragging about everything imaginable: a banging new BWX bike; an A on a Mrs. Smith’s latest pop quiz; a kiss with Becky behind the tire swings. There was never a shortage of achievements – material, intellectual or physical – to brag about. I got in on the action too. It became a game of one-upmanship. If bragging is synonymous with blowing your own horn, me and my tribe had tubas!

Children might be excused for this type of behaviour, after all, they are just learning the dos and don’ts of social interaction. As adults, little to no quarter is given. So what to do? How can one share personal achievements, of which he or she is proud, without being labeled a bigheaded showboat? This problem was once negotiated almost exclusively during face-to-face interactions, where body language and intonation gave the speaker and listener a better chance of reaching an understanding and of signaling intent. Now, in the Internet age, this is a problem for billions of people sharing the details of their lives on Twitter, Facebook and Snapchat.

For many, the solution to problem of how to share life’s proudest moments on social media without appearing to boast is to couch their emissions in self-deprecation or humility. Thus, the humblebrag was born.

In a Harvard Business School paper pertaining to humblebragging, Ovul Sezer et al. defined the phenomenon as simply “bragging in the guise of a complaint.” For example: “Agh! I spilled my coffee all over my brand new Hermès bag!” or, “I wish I wasn’t so generous with my time! Now I’m running late for my next meeting!” or, “Being in Hawaii again is so amazing, but if I go out in my bikini, I’m so white I might blind the locals.” But is this an effective self-presentation strategy? In a word: No.

Humblebrags tend to backfire when the audience perceives an ulterior motive behind the message. The attempt mask the brag with an appeal to sympathy or false humility can come off as insincere.

So why are people doing it? Ovul Sezer et al. posit, people “wish to be viewed positively and attend closely to how they present themselves in social interactions. A commonly used impression-management strategy is self-promotion, which allows individuals to bring their good qualities to other’s attention.” It’s pretty easy to understand that people generally want to be perceived positively by others. Entire industries have risen up with the purpose of helping people improve their image.

Sometimes a little bragging is necessary. In an economy where jobs are scarce and competition fierce, effective self-promotion is a critical skill to develop. Interestingly, research shows there are ways to communicate your finer qualities in such a way that you are less likely to be seen as bragging. Two studies referred to by University of Haifa’s Nurit Tal-Or found that creating the right context for boasts was crucial. The principle is this: “self-promotion in response to a question is perceived more positively” than self-promotion that is unsolicited. In other words, bragging in the right context can be exactly the right way to self-promote.

With all the attention on the transmitters of humblebrags, receivers have largely been ignored. It’s all too easy to demonize people who are often just doing their best to fit in and earn the respect of their friends, family and peers. Rather than calling out humblebraggers, why not rejoice with them in their successes? To the humblebrag police: must you always be so keen on putting people in their place? Every social media post a person makes is representative of a individual qualities and therefore communicating some aspect of your personality. Is anyone truly innocent trying to present themselves in a positive light via social media?

Humblebragging may be a relatively new concept, but self-promotion is very old indeed. It is nothing new to shine a light on one’s best attributes in such a way as to appear humble while doing so. Social media has vastly expanded the potential audience for such self-promotion. But with people eager to hashtag a post “#humblebrag” if they sense a boast, beware how you share your next achievement.

If you have to brag, writer Alexandra Kay suggests, “boast judiciously” and “know your audience.” Keep your bragging to a minimum and think about how your audience will react. Sage advice indeed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Social Media Commenting: The Terminology of Praise

As a photographer, I look at a lot of photos: adorable photos, bad photos, memorable photos and sad photos. Most of the time it’s pure voyeurism; other times it’s for creative inspiration. When I see something I like, I often leave a comment. It’s something I really appreciate when others do, so I try my best to reciprocate.

Unfortunately, most comments I receive are trivial or cliché. Terms like “nice” and “cool” are fan favourites. While I’m happy someone has noticed my work, I wish viewers would step up their commenting game. After all, there are so many words in the English language, yet most resort to the same old, tired and played-out vernacular. Flickr even has a group called “Commented with Nice” – presumably a nod to the phenomenon.

They say, it is better to give than to receive. So, over the last few months, I’ve been trying out different terms while commenting on others’ photos. One day, while I was surfing through Instagram images, I saw something really special. I fired off the comment, “This is a truly stupendous photo!” The reply was, “I didn’t know what that word meant, so I had to look it up. Thanks!” Obviously, social media commenting has real room for improvement!

The Categories

The trick to commenting with style is to recognize the three main categories of comment terminology. Firstly, there are low-level terms. Although some of the words I’ve listed below have dictionary descriptions that contravene their status as unremarkable, I am classifying them as such because they have lost their original meaning due to severe overuse. Secondly, there are mid-level terms. This is a long list, most of which are infrequently used, but are common enough that they pop up now and again. Finally, there are high-level terms. These words are typically reserved for only the most monumental of commenter reactions.

The Terms

Low-level: These are your standard compliments, props and kudos. A comment consisting of these words demonstrates a mildly impressed viewer or someone lacking vocabulary. Worse yet, the comment was the result of a lazy bot programmer. If you want to comment with style, avoid these boring words, unless of course the post really is just “good.” If you absolutely must use low-level terms, try one of the modifiers listed after the terms.

  • Awesome – Really? Does this post fill you with awe? Didn’t think so.
  • Brilliant – Fine for everyday use, especially if you’re from across the pond.
  • Cool
  • Decent
  • Excellent
  • Good
  • Great
  • Groovy – Umm, the 70s are over babe.
  • Neat
  • Nice – Like your grandma’s toilet paper doily.
  • Rad
  • Sick – Are you 14? Then don’t use this word.
  • Smashing
  • Super
  • Swell – Lame. Unless you’re using it ironically. Then it’s sick!
  • Terrific
  • Wicked – If you’re from Boston, disregard. I have no beef with you.

 

Mid-level: These words rise to the level of commendation and admiration. A comment containing any of these words is a step in the right direction. If you’re getting or giving comments like these, you’re either really impressed or feeling a bit like Stan Lee.

  • Delightful – Kind of like a spring breeze. Suitable for pictures of babies.
  • Exceptional
  • Exquisite
  • Fabulous – Yep, this word is fine for straight folks too.
  • Fantastic
  • Fascinating – Spock would be proud.
  • Gorgeous
  • Impressive
  • Incredible – Use for anything big, green and hulking.
  • Magnificent – Anything in groups of seven.
  • Marvelous
  • Outstanding
  • Phenomenal
  • Remarkable – at the very least you’re being literal right?
  • Spectacular
  • Splendid
  • Superb
  • Wonderful – If you’re German, wunderbar works just as well.

 

High-level: These words rise to the level of praise and flattery. If you’re getting comments like these, you’ve made it to the big leagues! Congratulations! If you’re using terms like these, you’re a master of social media who’s commenting with style. Well done!

  • Astonishing – Pretty much interchangeable with the next term.
  • Astounding
  • Breathtaking
  • Divine – Divas have known the power of this word for decades.
  • Glorious
  • Mind-boggling
  • Sensational
  • Stupendous – Has nothing to do with being stupid.
  • Sublime

Modifiers: Now that you’ve got the terms, mix and match these adverbs to add a little zip to any of the words above.

  • Bloody
  • Damned
  • Extremely
  • Majorly
  • Really
  • Seriously
  • Truly
  • Very

 

Missing anything?

Okay! Now you have all the tools you’ll need to take your social media commenting to the next level. If I’ve missed any novel or mundane words, please leave a comment below… in the comment box. Yep. That’s the one, right down there.

Anyone commenting with emojis gets extra points for being clever.

Jose Soriano sees Canada as an adventure and a challenge

Jose Soriano entered the pharmacy. It was a warm summer day in Montreal – a perfect day to get outdoors and enjoy the weather. His wife Leydy suggested they get some sunscreen first, so Jose volunteered to go get it. As he walked past the aisles, he spotted a clerk. Thinking he might get some advice, he decided to ask her a question about the sunscreen. He opted to speak French because he was in Montreal and because he thought it would be polite, but he very quickly realized his mistake. His French wasn’t good enough and he was just confusing the clerk. He promptly switched to English, hoping he would be understood, but that failed as well. To his amazement, the clerk continued speaking in French; then she simply turned and walked away!

As a new resident of Canada, Jose says his encounter in the pharmacy was just one of the many cultural challenges he’s faced since emigrating from Venezuela. Experiencing difficulty finding the right sunscreen might be a small hurdle, but it illustrates how even seemingly simple, everyday tasks can become points of miscommunication. Despite that, Jose says his decision to come to Canada is one of the best decisions he’s ever made.

Jose left Caracas, Venezuela when he was 31. At the time, he had limited proficiency in the English language, which he had picked up during his time at university. For this and other reasons, leaving Venezuela was not an easy decision. Not only was he leaving the familiarity of his country, he was leaving his friends and his loved ones.

“Leaving my family behind is still the most difficult thing. It will take years for me to overcome that,” Jose says. Thankfully, Jose’s family who live in Venezuela but are of Italian decent, have been very understanding and supportive. Venezuela has experienced many years of political, economic and social upheaval. Employment opportunities are scarce and crime is a real concern. In fact, when Jose arrived in Canada, he was surprised at how different it was from his home country.

“I was surprised by how respectful Canadians are. They seem to respect the law in every aspect.” It’s not surprising Jose feels this way. According to a 2013 Gallup report, Venezuela is one of the most “insecure” nations in the world due, in part, to a very high murder rate. One of the generally cited reasons for the problem is a dismal economic situation.

Two important criteria Jose considered in selected Canada as the place to start a new life were better career opportunities and the fact that Canada is highly rated on world indexes for standard of living.

Jose’s gamble is paying off. Since coming to Canada, first to Montreal and later to Calgary, he has worked hard to build his skills as a photographer. Being a photographer is a competitive prospect, but Jose feels he has some cultural advantages that will help him succeed.

“I grew up in an environment where you have to fight for what you want. I never got the easy toy, trip or car I wanted. I had to fight and work hard in every sense to get that,” Jose explains.

In his efforts to create a new life in Canada, Jose was not alone. He had the support of his wife Leydy who immigrated with him.

“When I met Jose, he’d been already working on the immigration project to Canada. I had no immigration plans at that moment, but I supported him by agreeing to come together and have a new start,” Leydy says.

Leydy says that one of her and Jose’s primary goals was to adapt to the culture of Canada as much as possible even though Canadians can sometimes make that difficult for them.

“I think Jose has struggled. It’s been difficult for him to get used to starting from the very beginning in another country where you have no friends, no family, no social connections,” Leydy says, adding, “It’s been difficult for him to get accustomed to [Canadian] people not trusting foreigners.”

According to Jose, making friends was easier in Venezuela, whereas in Canada it takes longer to build a level of trust. It’s is one of the things that he misses most about his home. However, he’s got a list of other things too: the food, the hot weather and, of course, his family. Jose laughs and jokes about Canada’s cold weather saying no country can be perfect.

It’s been three years since Jose arrived in Canada. His English has improved steadily and he is finding it easier to communicate. Basic communication is easier, but Jose doubts he will ever truly feel Canadian.

“Sometimes I think I will never feel like a Canadian because I have very strong Italian culture and, of course, Venezuelan. At this age it is kind of difficult to adopt the Canadian culture fully, but I’m pretty sure I will get used to it.”

Although finding his footing in a new country is a lifelong process, getting the right sunscreen is no longer a problem. Now, Jose has bigger fish to fry. He’s been working on his photography business and recently enrolled in a user experience design program at Bloc, an organization specializing in online training. If there’s one recurring theme in Jose’s life it is this: the drive to succeed, despite the obstacles.

“My family and business are my biggest focuses in my life. I think they are linked; one doesn’t work without the other. So, I will keep working hard to achieve my goals and when I get them I will start looking for another challenge to keep me alive.”